A picture post!

"Thumbs up to us, Mom, don't you think?" (The following pictures are my attempt to play catch-up on the last few months! They are in reverse order, so pictures from March are first and January is at the end.) Warning: lots of pictures!


Don't you love Luke's fuzz?
















I love my little buddies!







Luke's t-shirt is a gift from Grandma Warner! Thanks Grandma!











Luke is all boy...no fear to do anything with Daddy!



We spent two weeks in Seattle for Todd to do some engineering training. We were blessed to spend time with Tytus and Cathi and their kids, as well as several good friends. Fun days!











A younger picture of the balance act!









I've been living lots of "life" lately...and haven't done much blogging. I love, love, love this season of my life with baby Luke and Elijah. I'm very busy, and a bit tired, but there is so much raw joy in taking in the moments as they happen. I feel so blessed that the Lord has given us two boys, entirely different in how they will grow up, but both enormous gifts to Todd and I.

The joy and sense of awe we feel watching Luke grow, develop, and interact is intensely heightened by the loss and sorrow we have experienced (and continue to experience). It's as if we are marveling every day at perfectly normal things...the way a prisoner who has seen only gray walls would turn his face to the sun and stare at the color of green grass and blue sky. I don't mean that in a depressing sort of way; we've found beauty and incredible, deep-within joy in the "gray walled" pathways of life, so to speak.

I also see that some of our joy spills over to Elijah. I can tell that it makes him so happy to hear us laughing and that he loves the sounds of his little brother playing and "talking".

Luke is a funny little guy and finds a lot to laugh about. He is quite the little dare-devil already and we can definitely see his sense of humor. He laughs at things like popcorn popping, listening to the sound of himself blowing through a play "tube", and meeting new people who smile at him. He has two teeth, has started eating a few bitefuls of baby food, and tries to rip the spoon out of my hand at every opportunity. :)

6 Years!

This is us a few days ago, standing on the shore of Lake Superior...crazy place to honeymoon in November,
but that's what we did!

Happy Anniversary, baby! I never would have imagined all the "stuff" we'd live through together six years ago...but there's no one I would rather do life with than you! I'm so thankful to God for you and I love the life we have! You are the BEST MAN.

love these!

My talented friend Kendra took some photos of Luke for me in the beginning of November. Yikes, these pictures are already a month old! Isn't he adorable? It was unseasonably warm, probably one of our last nice days for the year. Thanks, Kendra!



Luke is SUCH an easy baby - he fell asleep on his blankie while we were taking pictures. Imagine that!

miracles and wondrous things

I love my baby!!!!
I don't know what I could have ever done to "deserve" him! He is pure, sweet GIFT from GOD! Words fall short to express just how blessed I feel.

Lukas is starting to smile a lot now! That seems like a miracle since we waited more than a year for Elijah's first glimmer of a smile. I can't get enough of Luke in so, so many ways. It seems like I am always amazed at something new that we didn't experience the first time. I am just very thankful for lots of things!!!

I have a baby that falls easily to sleep, and stays asleep. I don't have to measure every milligram of milk he eats, and I'm not working hard and stressed out just to make sure he survives. My baby is not throwing up multiple times a day. I am nursing, and I didn't have to teach my child to suck. I don't spend my hours bouncing on a big ball. My baby looks at me!!!! My baby isn't crying continuously!!!! My baby listens to me talking and smiles!!! This is just a tiny, tiny list of things I'm thankful for, but aren't they wonderful? I'm so grateful!

baby brag pics

Here's some pictures for the Grandmas! :) We think both of our boys are pretty cute. Sorry, dear bloggie friends, that I haven't written much as of late. Pictures will have to do you for now! Much love.

just lovin' him!!!

Here are some more pictures to melt your heart. I couldn't be more in love!!!

The days are going by too fast; I was about ready to cry earlier thinking about how Lukas is one week old today. I feel like each day is a treasure that slips through my fingers as the hours go by, irreplaceable and never to return. We've prayed for this baby for years...now he's finally here and I want life to stop for a while!

Sweetness personified!


"Whoa, dude...I think that's my dad!"





Lukas is a very relaxed and happy baby. JOY!!!

he's here!

We're thrilled to announce the birth of Lukas William! We went to the hospital Friday morning, and Lukas arrived 25 1/2 hours later, 19 of those being "labor". We are so grateful for the prayers of many for this little boy to be born safely! He is healthy and adorable and a huge GIFT from God!

I'm cherishing every minute with my newest little boy. It is so beautiful to be his mommy!

Some of these pictures are sideways...sorry! It's late and I just want to post these and go to bed! :) This is a few hours after birth and following his "bath".

Amazed and excited parents!

Just after birth...he still looks a little scared, don't you think?

Proud papa!

Big brother Elijah thinks his little brother is awesome!

My favorite picture so far!

Thank You, Lord...for two beautiful boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tomorrow's the day!

After nine months, it's hard to believe the day's finally here! Todd and I are going to the hospital tomorrow (Friday) at 9am to be induced...so that we can hold our precious little boy in our arms at last!

If the Lord brings us to your mind, will you pray that:
- Our minds will rest on Him so that we can have perfect peace
- God will give the doctors wisdom as they monitor the baby's progress
- I'll transition quickly into labor...and things will happen fast :)
- The baby will be born safely
- That God will help me to not relive the pain of the past too much, but to cherish every moment that I do have at the present.

I am amazed and thankful for the calmness in my heart tonight. We know that whatever lies ahead is already known and in the care of our loving God. I am looking forward to all the "firsts" with this little one, Lord willing, like his first cry...my first glimpse...the moment our eyes meet...holding him...all the things that didn't happen at Elijah's birth. I know that the ache I still feel over losing those moments with Elijah will intensify my gratefulness tomorrow!

Much love, friends. Thanks for your prayers!

Just a week!

Another heart beats beneath my own...for just one more week, Lord willing! It seems like Friday or Saturday will be the day we're "induced" if this baby hasn't come on his own before then! Just wanted to update you quickly so you could pray and rejoice with us!

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of carrying this child within.
For the gift of life!
For nine months of anticipation and excitement.
For years of praying and waiting.
For everything you've taught us along the way.
For cribs and blankets and baby shoes and everything tiny and adorable.
For a big brother who will love his little brother.
For children to raise for Your glory!!!
Out of the mouths of babes you bring forth praise.

just the three of us for a little longer...

I'm trying to savor my last few days with just one little boy! It makes me sad sometimes to realize that Elijah is four and won't be little much longer. As it is, he's more than a handful to hold, especially having much less room on my lap lately! We still get plenty of snuggles in though!

I love, love, love that Elijah's personality is showing up more and more. He will often smile at appropriate times, and if you laugh at something, he'll often join you with a grin. It's a big thing for me that he's beginning to be able to "play", like responding to being tickled or even to just a playful tone in my voice.

Today Elijah, Todd, and I went to the "big city" for Elijah's Botox shots. The poor boy had about twelve needle pokes in his legs. (Botox is to reduce spasticity, but only works for a few months.) As usual, Elijah was a total trooper concerning pain. He didn't start crying until about the 7th or 8th shot. Being his momma, those last four or five pokes lasted an eternity! I would have so gladly taken those shots for him!

We also found out this past week that Elijah will probably need surgery early next spring on his hips. One of his hips has come further out of the socket and will have to be repaired surgically to prevent pain and dislocation. I'm glad it's a few months away, but to think of him having major surgery has me a bit nauseous.

We will trust You, God, to take care of our little boy that we love so much!!!

getting ready...

I am astonished at how quickly the time is going by - just five weeks until our little boy will join the world, Lord willing! (I am planning to have the baby about a week early, at my doctor's advice...either via induction or c-section.)

It feels like I want everything to be "perfect" in my surroundings as things get closer. I know that's never realistic since we are actually living life and not in a magazine spread, but the pile of papers on my desk right now threatens my sanity, for real!

God has been teaching me the past few days about choosing what is important in life, and sometimes that takes priority over having a perfect house. Sometimes it means leaving dishes in the sink while I chat with my husband in the evenings. If I waited until my kitchen sparkled with order and "perfection", my husband would be asleep, or so groggy conversation would be impossible! Sometimes choosing what's important means playing with Elijah...and not letting my mind wander to the vacuuming or laundry or my grocery list.

I wish those kind of choices came easier for me! I confess, it's so easy to put a higher value on tangible accomplishments than close, connected relationships and having fun with people.

Help me, Lord, to ask You what's important during my days. Life is short...I want to live for what's lasting and eternal and lovely. Thank you for my husband and my little boy (soon to be two little boys)!

two cowboys

Some friends of ours from church invited us to their place a few days ago, and this was what the Harkins men did! (Pregnant mamas were excluded, unfortunately.) Todd enjoyed getting his feet in the stirrups again, and used his Grandpa's saddle. Elijah had a blast. Too bad we can't keep a horse in the garage of our apartment!

(All the pictures are courtesy of our friends.)


A beautiful evening in Idaho...











Thank you, Lord, for our smiling little boy and his good father...and for friends who let us come and play!

I've finally pressed 'play'!

Sorry to all who've stopped by only to find the same post for the past two months! It was sort of a bad post to leave you hanging with. I don't think my heart is 'on pause' anymore...in fact, I am relishing delicious feelings about that little baby on the way! I dream about him nearly every night. Perhaps I should clarify that to add that most of the dreams are about forgetting to feed him. Oh well...they make me laugh in the morning, at least!

I've been kept busy with lots of doctor appointments, non-stress-tests, and ultrasounds. In fact, from this week on I'll be having an NST and ultrasound weekly. I am so grateful for the careful approach of my doctors here, and grateful that all looks well.

I'll try to update you a little more faithfully! Here are some pics from the past weeks.


Happiness is swinging in a hammock with a cousin!

Here's Elijah in his temporary 'stander' (borrowed until he gets his own). We like to push it partly outside and hang out on our apartment's patio so he can listen to all the bugs and birds and little kids playing. This was about three weeks ago, and I think my belly has gotten a lot bigger even since then!


Free chairlift day at the local ski hill! This is us in the middle of June, freezing on the mountain. So glad I listened to my husband and didn't wear shorts and flip-flops like I wanted to! :)

my heart is on 'pause'

I feel like I can't catch up emotionally to my life. I'm dying to "bond" with this new life within me, but somehow I'm afraid that something very painful might happen instead.

I would like very much to pick out my little boy's "coming home from the hospital" clothes, but I can't yet. I'm afraid. I want to start planning the nursery decor for him, choosing bedding and buying a crib, but I can't quite do those things either. To be sure, it is a total joy to feel our baby jumpin' around inside me; to hear the heartbeat, to even think of his sweetness and newborn smell. A gift!!! So my conversations with the Lord go something like this lately:

Is it really happening, Lord? Will this child be healthy? Will he be able to see my face...will he actually respond to my voice? Or will I be faced with another life-altering conversation with a panel of doctors bearing bad news? I really, really can't face that thought; every part of me wants to crumble into a million pieces.

I rest in the fact that you, Lord, are trustworthy. So I will trust you, and not be afraid.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"