I've been away...visiting my family and seeing good friends in other parts. I'm thankful for a totally wonderful time, good conversations and the catching up I got to do. You'll probably see some pictures soon.
I don't know which of the three of us was happiest to be reunited after the time apart (Todd came home after my brother's wedding...I got to stay). Missing Todd is like not being able to breathe quite right - life just isn't as good!
One of the things we've done since coming home was take Elijah to a pediatric eye doctor. This was the first time since his initial visit at about three months old. At that time, the doctor told us that his optic nerve was intact and healthy, but that his damaged brain couldn't interpret the info from the eyes. His opinion was that Elijah couldn't see a thing. We knew that Elijah WAS seeing at least light and dark, so we decided to hope for the best and perhaps his vision would improve with time.
This week, the doctor told us that his optic nerve doesn't look healthy, most likely as a result of the brain injury. That explains why his pupils don't constrict with light. That was new information for us. Her opinion was that his vision is probably minimal, due to his damaged optic nerve and the damage to the brain itself.
Our mood was a bit sad when we left the doctor's office. We've known for a long time that Elijah's vision wasn't normal, but we haven't known the extent of it. Todd stopped to look out at a huge picture window on the fifth floor of the hospital. His voice cracked when he said 'i've always loved telling Elijah to look at different things...the train, the lake, the dog.'
I have realized before that this journey we're on is going to have multiple places of grief along the way. Ache, hurt, pain...not new here. I want to ask, Lord, why can't he at least see? I mean, how hard is that for you?
I have to rest again on the soft pillow of God's sovereignty...He knows, He cares, He loves, He will come for us - soon. And Elijah might see God's face as His very first sight, when He comes for His kids. I think that might just possibly be worth the wait!
