a momma's heart

Oh my friends, I am struggling a bit today. God is stretching me - exposing parts of my heart in places that hurt.

As is probably the case with any of our earthly struggles, it's not difficult to find others whose lives seem easier. I find that is the case with me, time and again. How I need God's grace to not compare, but to embrace. To hope, to trust, to accept.

Being around other moms with small children often means pain for me. I love babies. Babies have tricks, they smile and laugh and babble. Of course, I can't help but notice the differences between them and my own sweet little guy. It's also hard to see other babies getting passed around, tickled, and played with, while Elijah sits quietly (or not so quietly) in my lap. Granted, I am probably over-protective, and it might be intimidating to hold a special-needs child. I just wish it was easier for Elijah to be enjoyed. "Show mercy, Julie, on those who don't understand. You wouldn't have understood before, either. Just love; love them, and love your little boy."

So here we are, another few steps down the path God has laid out for us. Step, step...TRUST.

our cozy little place

For the curious, this is what our apartment looks like here, in the middle of Manila! We love it and it feels like home. We were blessed to find a furnished apartment, so the only things we own are the (used) fridge and the kitchen table/chairs.
The kitchen and dining area takes up one half of the living area. We also hang our clothes to dry on a rack in this area (behind me as I took the photo).
This is the other half of the living area. The curtains and the couch covers were made for us by a lady here. The old covers were very ugly with pink flowers.

Here you can see the whole 'scope'. The outside door is at the left of the picture. And for those familiar with our family, you will also see the "primary baby-calming device" of the past year; the big white ball. (We will forever be indebted to Kristina and Panchito for the idea!) As a side note, we brought two of these to Manila, and one met an unfortunate death a few weeks ago when Todd and Elijah were sitting on it together. Todd heard the little 'hiss' of an air leak, and decided to put his finger over the hole. Bad idea. A mili-second later, the ball exploded! Todd and Elijah revived quickly after the initial shock...and then we laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

home sweet

We're here (home)...after spending 6 hours in the ER and the next night and day in the hospital.

We are spent. But so thankful that tonight we will have our own beds, even if we are dragging ourselves away from those pillows pretty often to take care of a sick boy.

Elijah's diagnosis was roseola (a childhood disease with a rash like measles, but not as severe) with a case of pneumonia as a bonus.

Will write more later... but I just wanted to let you know we were home and that we felt your prayers. Sending our love!

heading to ER

Hi, just wanted to send out a quick update before we leave for the ER. Elijah's still sick, and continues to have a fever. He's coughing a LOT. This morning he woke up with a red rash all over his back and stomach. Our pediatrician will meet us there, so hopefully she can help us figure out what's going on. We'll keep you posted...thanks for your prayers.

reverse culture shock

I have been wanting to post these pictures of our helper, Veronica, and her family. Veronica is second from left, and they are standing in front of their house. They live many hours from Manila. I couldn't help feeling a small sense of shock (small, because I have lived here for a little while already) when I met these sweet people. I envisioned Veronica here, and I thought about her life now with us. I think she probably had a lot to adjust to at first.

We eat (pretty well) three times a day, and also some type of protein daily. Her family eats mostly rice and vegetables, with fish once or twice a week. We live in a nice apartment and have running water and clean floors. Her family's house has dirt and bamboo floors. Yet, compared to many who live in squatter areas in Manila, Veronica's family has a good life.

This is the inside of their house. Veronica's mother and father are on the right, front.

Elijah seems to be saying "Dad, I guess if I have to, I will try to play with this ball. I'm not too excited about it, though."

I had a mini photo-shoot with Elijah the other day when Todd was gone. I am quite sure that I enjoyed it much more than Elijah did, but what's a mother to do? I wanted some pics of me and the little guy I am so proud of.

Please pray for Elijah for the next few days. He has been very sick today, with a high fever and vomiting. We've had him checked today by our friendly neighbor, the pediatrician, but I'm still a bit worried. Seems like anytime he gets sick, it's usually a major deal.

Our EEG results are back for him. It confirmed seizures (which we knew would happen), and they are in the temporal and occipital lobes of the brain. However, our neurologist is very happy that they seem to be controlled so well on the medication he's on. We're thankful!!!