Thoughts

Today I thought I would write about our family in more of a personal way. Often I am posting on the blog with only one hand (because a cute little guy is occupying the other hand), so I don't type much. I always wish I could write more about the things we're learning and especially about the ways God has cared and is caring for us.

We know that we never could have gone through the past year were it not for the incredible out-pouring of love, prayer, and help from our family and friends. There were many days (weeks, months...) of intense emotional pain. Even greater than that, the physical demands on us seemed more than humanly possible. During that time I often knew that without the Lord I would have wanted to end it all. I felt like the breath of life was being crushed out of me from the heaviness of the burdens, but you were right with us through it all. Our God was right with us through it all. I can't even begin to count the ways we've been supported and encouraged by our dear friends and family alike. For that, we don't have words to express how grateful we are! We couldn't have made it through the past year alive, let alone have moved to the Philippines, without you! May God truly get all the praise for the amazing way He's carried us, but often the arms He used to carry us were yours. You are truly dear to our hearts (my eyes are filling up with tears just to think of you).

Back in February, we relied on 'eyes of faith' to make the move to the Philippines, and we want to let you know about some of the great things that have happened since then, both in Elijah's life and ours.

Elijah is making progress developmentally, but the changes are small. In the past four months, he has learned noticeably better head control. His trunk strength has also improved. He's sleeping more at night (thanks, Lord!!), and we think he is less fussy as well. Elijah has therapy three times a week, and it seems like they are doing good things for him. We would love for him to be able to sit up on his own, roll over, and perhaps someday be able to crawl and walk, but only God knows what’s in store for Elijah.

About a month ago, I thought I saw a very faint smile, or at least a shadow of expression, when Elijah heard my voice for the first time one morning. I nearly cried. I can’t really express how deep my longing is for some small ‘reward’ for being his Mom. Little things like his sweet smell and the fact that I think he’s cute are fun for me, but I guess God created us for interaction, and I can’t help wishing for that.

As anyone who’s spent time with us knows, we still always have to hold Elijah. I think some people may wonder why we don’t just lay him on a blanket and let him cry until he learns to be happy without being held. We have tried that, but what usually happens is that Elijah gets really distressed, starts refluxing and then throws up all the food we’ve worked so hard for. So for now, until he can learn to be calm, the only option we have is to hold him (since he can’t sit up by himself). However, God’s provided some fantastic help in the form of the two Filipina ladies who work for us here.

We can’t emphasize enough what a break Ate Minda and Veronika have given us from Elijah’s continual needs. We try to give Elijah to them only for class time and a few momentary times during the day, since we feel that we are still the best ones to take care of him. However, even those small bits of freedom have been like light and air to someone used to “living in the basement”. After being in ‘survival’ mode for almost a year, life seems a bit more normal now with their help. (We can eat real meals instead of scrounging!) The best part is that Elijah likes Ate Minda and Veronika.

Our days are full, as we study Tagalog, take care of Elijah, and build relationships with our neighbors and friends. We feel privileged to have the opportunity to be here. Pray for us, though, as we sometimes struggle to keep thankful hearts in the middle of inconveniences, cultural differences, and just ‘missing home’. I’ll try to write more soon…