Play time for Elijah...he was so happy in this picture and was holding onto a rattle - he even shook it a time or two. Yay, Elijah!
Here's some more pictures of Elijah swinging! It is so good (for us and him) to know of something he likes. The last time Todd was swinging him, he was probably as "excited" as we've ever seen him be able to express -- smiling big smiles and kicking his legs / moving his arms like crazy whenever Todd pushed him. It was so fun for us to see his reactions and the obvious "more, please, Daddy"!The neighbors have confessed that they watch out their windows whenever they see Elijah flying through the air. He swings from a very high tree branch, so Todd can really launch him. :)
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I am pushing my small, curly-haired boy in a wheelchair through the store. He is crying in short bursts and it doesn't quite sound "normal". His head tilts a little to the left. I feel so vulnerable and so afraid of being pitied.
Some people pretend that we don't exist, looking past. Some move out of the way, giving us exaggerated clearance as if we needed most of the aisle. Two younger kids, pushing their mom's cart, stop and look with wide eyes. Their mother hisses at them to stop staring. A couple expecting a baby look with apparent distaste at Elijah and turn their backs to us.
Lord, help my heart...help me. I feel so alone, so awkward in this new world. Help me to spread grace lavishly on those who hurt me, who feel uncomfortable with our different-ness.
A girl says to her mother, "Mom, look at that cute little baby!" and the icicles in my heart start to melt.
9 comments:
Julie,
I emailed you a few days ago at your guys' ntm email account and I am not sure you got it. I hadnt heard from you in a while so I got on your guys' blog to see how you are all doing and found out you are in Idaho! I would love to connect--my email is stacy.pietsch@gmail.com
Julie, your honesty and love are breathtaking as you let so many of us in on your wonderful life as a mother. When I found your blog again a few days ago I had Jeremy come look at how adorable Elijah is!! You have been blessed, Julie even though it feels so often like a curse. Please keep sharing with so many of us what your journey is day to day and definitely keep sharing pictures of that little guy! He makes me smile...
Julie,
Thank you for the updated post.
We too think "Look at that cute baby" when we see Elijah.
We love you and miss you and can pray more specifically for you now.
Just this AM I was doing some dishes and looking over the prayer list we made and distributed just over a year ago at the luncheon we had for you here. I wondered if there were any you would want to change or update. I would be happy to do that for you and distribute them again to the same ladies. I am sure they still pray for you and have to modify the lists on occasion.
I love you!
Spreading grace is very hard....my dear sweet friend, as I blink back the tears, I am so there with you....NEEDING and RELYING on God to give me the smile when all I want to do is harshly speed away from the eyes of the world...it is trying and even after all these years of raising Ezra, people are still people, SCARED and curious, yet rude and mean...BUT, then, as you wrote, a sweet smile is given and a sweet word, just when us Mamma need some loving :) I am pryaing for you, keep wheeling him around and be PROUD of who you know Elijah was created by, our GREAT God, who does not make mistakes, though we wonder, don't we?
I LOVE you so much and love your open heart...we need to talk on the phone soon.
I love that Elijah loves his swinging, that is so precious and such a way for him to communicate, praise God!
MUCH love,
Lizy
Hi Julie! Enjoyed your pictures - the swinging looks like lots of fun. :) Your honesty humbles me - I so often keep it all inside...
You're in our prayers and we hope to see you next year - if not in WI maybe in Idaho!
Elijah is so beautiful! He melts my heart whenever I see his beautiful blue eyes and lavish curls in pictures. I am friends with Becky your cousin, she shared this link with me to be encouraged, which I have been beyond belief.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I receive strength and new hope when I read your trust in God's goodness. It helps me surrender my worries and trust in God's faithfulness and promises for our son Caleb as we fight autism.
You are daily in my prayers!
love, Alicia
Oh Julie, thank you for 'spreading grace' to big, awkward, dummies like us. For real, we so often have no idea how we come across or how even the wrong look can cut someone's heart. Keep sharing. Keep teaching us as God teaches you. And thank you, God, for Elijah and the lessons we are learning because of his LIFE!!
Sweet Julie, you are surely an embodiment of grace in the world, spreading the love of God to people here in North America, who surely need it just as sorely as the rest of the earth.
Julie,
I don't know if you realized it but the two stories you have written here are both very powerful. Just think of your neighbors, finding joy watching your husband swing your son....what a witness to them and a blessing to them!!
Contrasted with your feelings about pushing your son around in the store...whether you "feel" like it or not, you are a witness there, too!
Thank you for sharing your heart.
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