visitors and sweet moments

We were blessed with a wonderful visit from our friends, Pete and Karen, and their new son Zaldy!! It was so fun to see them and be a small part of their adventures in the Philippines!
Here are some kids we saw recently who were jumping off the bridge into the smelly, trash-filled river. They would jump and set all the power lines shaking as their bodies touched them going down. We wondered if these kids are part of the "street gang". If they're not, I think we'll avoid using their babysitters for Elijah.
This is E, momentarily 'sitting' on the couch!

Our little bug is getting big! He's about 20 pounds now, and a tall guy.

Only Refuge

I had a bit of time to write in my computer "journal" today. I decided to share it with you.

August 13, 2007

I’m sitting on the ball holding a sleeping Elijah. I dare not move a centimeter, or he won’t be sleeping anymore. I’m typing with one hand.

I feel that in many ways we’ve grown to accept the handicaps and special needs our Buddy has, but taking care of him has turned into one long endurance match. I can’t remember anymore what it feels like to really rest at night, or even to have one quiet hour during the day that I can just lay on the couch and chill. I hope there comes a time when all this seems a distant memory…when I can savor the peace, relax for a while. I probably wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

I am so thankful for Ate Minda who is cooking Filipino food right now for our lunch, and who just came into our room to ask me for some hangers for the laundry. What an incredible blessing to be in this place, at this time! Living here in some ways is much easier. The pressure of nitty-gritty life is a lot less with Ate and Veronica’s help. I never expected that when we came, but I would have burned out a long time ago without them!

“This God – His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge…” 2 Samuel 22:31-33a

Those verses sound like a song to me. Maybe some day I’ll be singing it. Lord, You are my Rock. Even when I feel forsaken and abandoned, You are my strong Refuge.

small boy and the Daddy he loves

Ready for some heart-stopping action? These are a few more photos from our trip up north - how we loved being in the country! Elijah's muscle tone would really relax when he was outside, and he liked hearing different sounds (like birds and dogs) and looking around. My theory is that he could see the silhouettes of trees, etc., outlined against the sky and he loves getting visual imput. His other love is rough-housing with Todd. Todd is such a great Dad!! I am so blessed to have a wonderful husband who also happens to be an incredible Father. So put on your seatbelts for the next few photos!

Definitely a smile on Elijah's face -- isn't he just so cute?? You can almost hear him begging for "more, Dad"!
Before this, we really hadn't seen any grass to speak of since last summer in Wisconsin. Elijah says, "Hmm, Dad, this stuff feels kinda funny on my toes"!

The Philippines is feeling more and more like home to us. I never thought I would say that, especially at first! Manila is not a nice place to live in many respects, so lately I have been praying that God would help me to be content no matter where we live. It is almost surprising to me now when I have a thought like "I think I'm going to like this place" or something similar, but isn't that just how our God works? Surprising, mysterious, and wonderful are His ways.

great adventures and planes in pieces

Here are some photos from our recent trip north. We enjoyed seeing God's creation and breathing fresh air for a week! Our reason to go was for Todd to help disassemble an airplane that was being shipped to our mission base in the USA. Todd and some of our NTMA coworkers spent most of the week working on the airplane and securing it inside a 40-foot container.

Never know what you might find on a Philippine highway! This rock made us laugh. Note the piles of rubble -- and no warning signs! This one apparently fell during a landslide and it was too big to move easily.
We went to the Banaue rice terraces in northern Luzon. Here we are in front of these ancient man-made wonders. It was beautiful - and it was the first day since arriving here that I've had goosebumps! A short rain shower and higher elevations gave us that delicious sensation!
Another picture of Banaue...
Elijah had to get in on the action, of course! Here he is supervising Dad's work. Todd enjoys a good project and this one was a welcome change of pace from language study for him. Thank you for praying for our trip. We wondered how Elijah would do in a car (we rented the mission vehicle). It wasn't easy, but Elijah handled it better than he would have a few months ago! Our trip home to Manila ended up taking us nine hours. When we calculated the mileage, we discovered that we'd travelled less than 150 miles! We couldn't believe that, but it demonstrates that some things just take longer here... A few shots of Todd at work...

Preparing to take the wings off the plane...

Many hands make light work!

The wingless bird gets loaded in the container here.Todd and our co-worker Ben Hart in the container with the airplane carefully stowed and secured.

Elijah's new cousin!

Welcome to the world, Brogan! Brogan belongs to Brian and Beth (Beth is Julie's sister), and was born on July 2nd! Wish we were there to cuddle ya, Brogan! Your aunt and uncle are very happy you're alive!

yes ma'am, he's married - to me!

Tall, handsome, caucasian men are in great demand in the Philippines! We saw an example of this walking to the nearby fruitstand lately. This story was too funny not to share! A lady standing a distance from the stand started calling to Todd, "Hi Joe!" (a leftover term from the GI Joes here), and yelling out that he was handsome. Then she approached us and asked Todd to buy her a mango. Now, mind you, this lady did not look malnourished in ANY sense of the word. I asked her if she had a job, so she turned to me and said (in Tagalog) that she was fat because she had to drink so much water. NEXT she asked me if Todd was married to me. I told her "yes", so her final comment before walking off was saying "I love you, Joe!" to Todd. Poor Todd. He can't help being a chick magnet. We should add that most women here are completely polite - this was an odd situation (thankfully!).

asking for your prayer

Hi guys,
We just wanted to let you know of a specific need we have right now in Elijah's life. We really appreciate you caring about this little boy and our family. Elijah is nearly 14 months old now, and is still almost exclusively drinking from a bottle. Will you join us in praying that he'll be able to start eating "baby food"? Elijah is hyper-sensitive to touch and sensation inside and around his mouth, so our attempts so far usually are ineffective and/or unpleasant for him. He either spits food out, acts like he hates it, or gags. Thank you so much for lifting this need before the Father. We send our love to you.

you've got to admit, this looks like fun

These are some photos of Elijah getting tossed in the air by his Dad. He loves this!! Please notice that Elijah is wearing his bib backwards. This is because the bib becomes a superman-cape when doing flying stunts with Dad. (Can you tell I have a very fun husband?)





The last picture is so you can visualize how tall Elijah is getting. He doesn't really stand for any period of time, but we have him propped up here. He will just stand for a few seconds and then start crying, as his muscles try "too hard" and it becomes uncomfortable.
We just wanted to say hello and send our love. We are getting excited about the short trip we are taking this next week to the country. Todd will be working hard (taking an airplane apart), but for me it will just be a nice time away from Manila...time to take Elijah out in the sunshine and sit on the grass. I can't wait to breathe clean air and keep the windows open! Our helper, Veronica, is from the area we are going to, so we'll get to meet her family, too!

sweetness

This is my current favorite photo in the world. Elijah is so cute to us! We had a very good day with him today - he seemed happy, and tried hard to 'play' when we gave him toys to touch (cerebral palsy makes learning motor skills very difficult - it is a lot of work for him even to move his arm or hand). To make our day even better, he didn't throw up and also ate a small amount of mashed banana (we're working on teaching him to eat semi-solids).

This evening, Todd gently tossed him in the air for about ten minutes, and it was really cool to see Elijah's expressions. We laughed so much. Elijah is a true gift, and how thankful we are when we have little windows of 'fun' like today with him.
"Mr. Serious" trying to figure out what he's looking at. We think we do see some progress with his vision!

playin' with Dad

smiles?

These were Elijah's expressions after being 'bounced' in a standing position on the big ball...we've done this with him a lot, but for some reason this time I could feel his legs responding and trying to 'spring' off the ball. He must have really liked it!

Hello Grandma(s)

P.S. Elijah says thanks for the clothes, Grandma!

Thoughts

Today I thought I would write about our family in more of a personal way. Often I am posting on the blog with only one hand (because a cute little guy is occupying the other hand), so I don't type much. I always wish I could write more about the things we're learning and especially about the ways God has cared and is caring for us.

We know that we never could have gone through the past year were it not for the incredible out-pouring of love, prayer, and help from our family and friends. There were many days (weeks, months...) of intense emotional pain. Even greater than that, the physical demands on us seemed more than humanly possible. During that time I often knew that without the Lord I would have wanted to end it all. I felt like the breath of life was being crushed out of me from the heaviness of the burdens, but you were right with us through it all. Our God was right with us through it all. I can't even begin to count the ways we've been supported and encouraged by our dear friends and family alike. For that, we don't have words to express how grateful we are! We couldn't have made it through the past year alive, let alone have moved to the Philippines, without you! May God truly get all the praise for the amazing way He's carried us, but often the arms He used to carry us were yours. You are truly dear to our hearts (my eyes are filling up with tears just to think of you).

Back in February, we relied on 'eyes of faith' to make the move to the Philippines, and we want to let you know about some of the great things that have happened since then, both in Elijah's life and ours.

Elijah is making progress developmentally, but the changes are small. In the past four months, he has learned noticeably better head control. His trunk strength has also improved. He's sleeping more at night (thanks, Lord!!), and we think he is less fussy as well. Elijah has therapy three times a week, and it seems like they are doing good things for him. We would love for him to be able to sit up on his own, roll over, and perhaps someday be able to crawl and walk, but only God knows what’s in store for Elijah.

About a month ago, I thought I saw a very faint smile, or at least a shadow of expression, when Elijah heard my voice for the first time one morning. I nearly cried. I can’t really express how deep my longing is for some small ‘reward’ for being his Mom. Little things like his sweet smell and the fact that I think he’s cute are fun for me, but I guess God created us for interaction, and I can’t help wishing for that.

As anyone who’s spent time with us knows, we still always have to hold Elijah. I think some people may wonder why we don’t just lay him on a blanket and let him cry until he learns to be happy without being held. We have tried that, but what usually happens is that Elijah gets really distressed, starts refluxing and then throws up all the food we’ve worked so hard for. So for now, until he can learn to be calm, the only option we have is to hold him (since he can’t sit up by himself). However, God’s provided some fantastic help in the form of the two Filipina ladies who work for us here.

We can’t emphasize enough what a break Ate Minda and Veronika have given us from Elijah’s continual needs. We try to give Elijah to them only for class time and a few momentary times during the day, since we feel that we are still the best ones to take care of him. However, even those small bits of freedom have been like light and air to someone used to “living in the basement”. After being in ‘survival’ mode for almost a year, life seems a bit more normal now with their help. (We can eat real meals instead of scrounging!) The best part is that Elijah likes Ate Minda and Veronika.

Our days are full, as we study Tagalog, take care of Elijah, and build relationships with our neighbors and friends. We feel privileged to have the opportunity to be here. Pray for us, though, as we sometimes struggle to keep thankful hearts in the middle of inconveniences, cultural differences, and just ‘missing home’. I’ll try to write more soon…

To Market, To Market

This is a nearby market, where you can buy anything and everything. For a foreigner, a lot of cultural surprises can be found here (i.e. notice the cat on the meat counter?). It looks and smells different than we're used to in the grocery store back home!
This man is delivering ice to the market, which the vendors will buy to cool their wares (usually only the fish and seafood vendors).

Shhhhh

Please continue to pray that Elijah's ability to sleep will improve. He IS drastically improved from several months ago, and now will occasionally sleep 8 hours straight. Usually, though, he is awake for at least an hour during the night. It is also very common for him to be awake for 16+ hours during the day, taking only a few five-minute naps. Something about the way his brain and nervous system works causes him wake up very easily, so even though he's tired, he's not able to sleep. Please pray that he will be able to take naps during the day!

New Wheels!

We are very thankful for God's provision of a motorbike for us! It is a Yamaha TTR 250. This bike belonged to another missionary who lived about 7 hours north of Manila, so Todd took the bus to pick it up. He really enjoyed getting to see the countryside on the way home, although it was a long ride for someone who hasn't sat on a bike for a while! Northern Luzon is a beautiful place! You can see some rice fields in the foreground of the top 2 pictures.

Now that we have a motorcycle, we can get around in Manila without having to take 2-3 different types of transport to reach our destination. (Much faster, too!)

Our junk

How would you like to have people hand-sort through your trash each day? That's what happens here! We take our trash to the garbage pile on the curb, and people sit by the heap and pick through it, looking for cans, bottles, or anything they can use. Recycling has a whole new meaning! It's a little humbling to realize that what I chuck without a second thought is a precious resource to some of my neighbors.

This is a garbage truck, making the rounds. 1-2 men ride on top, and two walk behind. They pick up the trash piles and toss it on the truck. You know when they're in the neighborhood because they honk 3-4 times at just about every house!

Daddy's boy

New Family Photo

This is us! We have a hard time getting Elijah to look at the camera, (or anything, for that matter), so just enjoy his profile! We were laughing when this picture was taken, because the two ladies that work for us (Ate Minda and Veronica) were just so funny attempting to use the camera. We were also laughing because of Todd's shirt. I bought it for very cheap from a little street vendor so we could all wear white. It turned out that Filipino size XL is quite a bit smaller than in the US! Todd couldn't move his arms very much or the buttons would strain. (So the shirt went to Ate Minda's husband after the photo!)

Critters...

This is one of several "friends" that have been hanging out at our place. This little guy was on the ceiling moulding of our bedroom. (Note: this photo was taken just seconds before the subject attempted a suicide jump. He survived...)

Class Time

This is one of our teachers, Lei, (on right) helping us learn the Tagalog language. Alina, another missionary new to the Philippines, is also in our class. There are nearly twenty people studying Tagalog, but since we're all at different stages, we have individual classes. Do you see the fourth student? Elijah came along for the first five weeks! Now he is sometimes able to stay with Veronica, our helper, during class time (2 hours). We can concentrate a little better without him, but we miss the little guy! By the way, thanks to all who have been praying for some help caring for Elijah. We have been totally blessed with the two ladies who help us.

Birthday Boy!

"I'm cute, and I'm one year old now (on May 31st)!"

















These are Elijah's friends: Alina, Ate Minda, and Veronica!

















A new teddy bear for me!





















Blowing out the candle on his 'banana-bread-cake'!

Elijah's First Year

A year has come and gone from when we first met our baby boy, Elijah Lee. Words just can’t contain the tremendous mixture of joy and pain since that first glimpse! Bliss to see his sweet newborn face, and know that he was ours. Anguish when we learned that he’d been deprived of oxygen, and his brain was severely damaged. As he grew, we found out more about Elijah’s injury; a condition called spastic quadriplegia (a form of cerebral palsy). Elijah’s doctors have told us that he will probably never walk or talk, that he will have vision impairment and that his cognitive abilities will be limited. Dreams that we held for our first baby have had to be released, to exchange for the dreams God has for our son. We don’t know what those dreams and plans are, but we know that God will enable Elijah to fulfill them in the capacity he needs to.

Our hearts still ache on a daily basis; his first birthday was difficult for us. How can we celebrate the little guy’s birthday, we wondered, if we don’t even know what he likes? What fun are balloons if he can’t see them, or presents if he can’t play with them? So the morning of Elijah’s birthday brought tears for us. It seems like the past year has had more than its share of very dark days. Days filled with sleep deprivation, holding an extremely irritable child who needed constant motion, who has struggled each day to eat enough to stay alive, whose little body is always filled with tension. If we knew that things would get better, we could probably muster up enough strength from inside to continue on. Instead, the place we’re in now is just trusting…trusting that though we can’t see our way clear, God knows what’s up ahead. Trusting that what seems so very ugly to us now (an “accident”) is really just the beginning stages of a beautiful plan.

We did have a wonderful little birthday party, and I think God gave us just the day we needed! Elijah was happy and alert. He even kept his arm around the teddy bear his Great-Grandma Warner sent him. Our friend Alina, who is from Romania, and the two Filipina ladies who work for us (Ate Minda and Veronica) helped make his party fun. (Thank you to our friends who have sent cards or messages for his birthday!) Elijah was an adorable one-year-old and he got lots of kisses from all the girls at his party!

More Birthday Pictures

This is Alina, a new Romanian friend and classmate. She loves Elijah and we love her! (Elijah is really checking her out in this picture!)


















Here's Elijah and his Dad, just chillin'. It's a lot of work, having birthdays.





















Birthday boys need a lot of kisses...isn't he cute holding his bear from Great-Grandma Warner!