“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7
Welcome!
Friday, December 21, 2007
3 Amazing Years
Saturday, December 1, 2007
joy
1.) I have mentally imagined this kind of peace in God's world for eight months, while living in a smoggy, people-and-poverty-filled city. I have to confess, a part of me wonders why I now have the privilege of taking in this beauty while so many others languish in pain (or hunger, poverty) they can't escape from. Thank you, Lord, for your undeserved blessings.
2.) It was a date! Since one of us is always holding or caring for a little squirmy boy, any time we get to ourselves is something we are immensely grateful for! Thanks, Mom, for watching Elijah so we could get away.
Sweet boy and his Grandpa. Grandpa and Grandma Harkins came to help us during Elijah's stay in the hospital...we can never thank you enough for that! Thanks to them, we were able to sleep and get out of the hospital room occasionally, as well as enjoy their great company!
Warm loaves of raisin bread, baked by my famous Grandma Kruit. We love staying with Grandma!
Here's Mr. Cool, feeling proud of himself at the table. Take note that this picture (the happy face) is representative of about 2% of the time Elijah spends in his chair. He's definitely not in love with it yet! We keep taking baby steps toward more time in the chair for him. It's the only thing he can sit in that works for his body (laying down is not an option, either).
I am grateful for the way having the chair has already helped me to feel more like a 'normal' mother, i.e. I can accomplish a few things without needing someone else to hold him, like taking a quick shower or folding a few clothes.
We have SOOOOO much to be thankful for! I am most grateful for the heart-change God's worked in me, to help me live with gratefulness (at least sometimes) for all the gifts we've been given. A heart-change to be able to laugh, to accept hard things without dwelling in self-pity. I never knew the incredible depth of love I would have for a little boy who can't talk, walk, or understand. Thank you, Lord, for the intense privilege of such joy - such unexpected JOY.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
surgery and recovery
Elijah's recovery is going pretty well. His incision looks good, but we can tell it hurts. The doctor said it was equivalent to having a stab wound, so I guess pain is to be expected.
We are thankful...for Todd's family, who came a long way to be with us here in the hospital; for my family, who has been such a support already during our stay in the USA; that my Grandma has opened her cozy little home for us to stay in; for friends who have loaned us their vehicle for a few weeks; for the good medical care that we are able to receive for Elijah. We are SO blessed!
Thank you, dear friends near and far, for your prayers. We are held in those everlasting arms tonight.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Here we are today, having a ph probe test. Poor Elijah has to have a little tube down his throat until tomorrow morning. He's had this test before, when he was about 9 months old, and it is remarkable how much better he's handling everything this time around. Consequently, we are much happier people, too!
Elijah was given a loaner kid cart to use until his own can be ordered! A few days ago, he went on his FIRST EVER walk without having to be carried! I felt that was such a huge milestone for us both! He made it about 1/4 mile without fussing!!
Before Elijah was born, I dreamed about taking our baby for walks in the new red stroller we were given at his baby shower. I couldn't wait to take our little one outside and explore the world! We attempted to take walks so many times, but either he was always crying and/or his stiff muscle tone made sitting in that or any other stroller impossible. So Elijah and I would just take short walks and I would carry him. Sometimes I would feel so discouraged by the effort it took just to get us outside for a few minutes! I know that the struggles definitely aren't over, but it was such a boost to push Elijah's little "stroller" down the street! To see him enjoying himself was the best part. We'll post a picture of his new wheels soon.
swings are good things
Todd is quite the Dad, pushing Elijah in my Grandma's tree swing and videotaping at the same time! This is a super-cute video of Elijah enjoying the swing with a little smile on his face. He even got to wear Dad's socks on his hands and feet (we haven't pulled out his winter gear from storage yet)! I came home from running errands and I was pretty impressed with how much fun my two men had. It is so, so nice to have a little break from the big city of Manila!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
We are thankful to be in a place where Elijah can get good care and we can be assured that he's getting the help he needs for now. He was fitted for a little "kid cart" (like a special stroller) today!! I am so, so excited about having some options for him instead of constant holding. The kid cart will give him the extra support he needs to be comfortable. So far, Elijah doesn't like his new stroller, but we'll introduce it gradually. We're so BLESSED to have ways to position Elijah and help him explore the world.
In the Philippines, Ate Minda's friend was a single mother raising a 12-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. She lived on an income of about $20 a month, and the little girl didn't have any equipment. Every time the little girl needed to be moved, the mother would have to carry her. Ate Minda said the situation was "mahirap, mahirap, mahirap" (very, very difficult).
Will you thank the Lord with us that God has provided so well for our little guy? We know we are very blessed. We are blessed to HAVE our little Elijah, who has a sweetness all his own. We are challenged to grow and are molded to be more like our Father because of Elijah. I don't think we could love anyone more. That doesn't mean it's always easy or fun to take care of him...but God is teaching us about TRUE love. Love when we don't feel like loving, love when it requires sacrifice.
We love you guys and thank you for your prayers.
Monday, October 29, 2007
we're home
Our trip home was really hard - Elijah slept less than 2 hours out of the 25 hour trip, but at least it's over! We're getting adjusted to a different schedule. Elijah thought it was bedtime at about 3pm the last few days.
Just wanted to let you know that we'll be on here a little less for now. We don't have internet at my Grandma's house (where we'll live for a few weeks).
Elijah had his first doctor's appointment today, and tomorrow we see all of his specialists. We'll also stay overnight for a 24 hour EEG (test of his brain waves). We'll update you soon!
Much love to you all.
Monday, October 22, 2007
off we go
As you can tell, Elijah has spent a lot of the past month battling viruses and recurrent seizures, and has been hospitalized twice! What a trooper! We, as well as our doctors, are impressed with how resilient Elijah is.
We've decided that we need to take a break, for Elijah's sake. So off we go, this week, to the USA! We've been planning to go home in November, but a few days ago we changed our tickets. A week without eating was enough to convince us that we should have some help with a few things.
We don't know what the Lord has ahead for our family, but we've gone through this before! He's always been faithful to show us, just not always in our preferred timeframe.
Packing, unpacking, repacking, sorting, cleaning - all the things you do when you're preparing to uproot yourself from a place you've called home. We're in that mode, full-blast.
We're going to miss it here.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
the scoop...
Monday, October 15, 2007
babies sleeping on cardboard
I thought about sweet Elijah, and how I sometimes get frustrated because of all the noise from the street and how it wakes him up. The babies I saw tonight were laying on a small cement square, on their backs with their legs hanging off the edge. Less than six feet from the noisy street, with not a wall or a roof or even a blanket to lie on.
I am so convicted about my ungratefulness at times! So broken for the people all around me who exist on nothing, who give birth and raise their families on a street corner.
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Elijah's seizures have improved again...the doctor notched up his medication after the blood test last week.
On different note, we're struggling to keep him hydrated, because he's been throwing up for two days and isn't eating. We've been feeding him with a syringe since last night, and he's vomited a lot of that as well. So we're asking for your prayers again. Today is a day I wish I were in the States, and could access good medical care in a heartbeat if I needed to! Even with those thoughts, I realize that Elijah is in God's hands. As we've seen time and again, He knows exactly how to take care of all of us.
Thanks for your prayers!
Monday, October 8, 2007
fresh air
Today Todd and I took the motorcycle to Faith Academy, a school for missionary's kids on the edge of town. It's a beautiful campus; lots of green and pretty views. It was so refreshing even to be out there for an hour or so. Looking around, I suddenly realized that the air smelled good...clean and fresh, like plants. I inhaled it, gulped it in while it lasted; big delicious lung-fuls.
I want to remember what it feels like to be so thankful for good air to breathe. While I wish I didn't have to live and breathe in smog every day, it's good in the sense of cultivating thankfulness in my heart. Thankfulness for the simple things I used to take for granted.
There are other ways living in the Philippines has done that for me. More to come on that...
Elijah update:
We took him to the hospital lab early in the morning on Friday for the medication-level blood test, only to have them refuse to do the test we needed because he wasn't an in-patient. We called the doctor who had ordered the test, and he didn't think he could do anything about it, but he would try.
Today we went to pick up the results, and sure enough, the lab had done some other work but not the important test. Then we found out we could have a lab tech from a hospital that would do the right test come to our home for about $4.00. Yes, you read that right. I'm so glad that we don't have to deal with heavy morning traffic and attempting to find the new hospital, all before Elijah's breakfast.
So, tomorrow Elijah will have his blood drawn, and then we'll wait again for the results.
All of this waiting is a little unnerving when your child is having a lot of seizures! Please join us in praying as Elijah's journey continues.
Take a deep breath of good-smelling air for me today, and thank the Father...
Friday, October 5, 2007
raindrops falling on my head
We wanted to update you all about Elijah's seizures. Things were looking really good for a while, not very many seizures...maybe less than 6 small ones per day. I'm not sure what's changed, but today and yesterday he's had seizures very frequently. So, tomorrow Elijah will have a blood test done to check the medication levels. Please keep our little one in your prayers.
Much love to you!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
a momma's heart
As is probably the case with any of our earthly struggles, it's not difficult to find others whose lives seem easier. I find that is the case with me, time and again. How I need God's grace to not compare, but to embrace. To hope, to trust, to accept.
Being around other moms with small children often means pain for me. I love babies. Babies have tricks, they smile and laugh and babble. Of course, I can't help but notice the differences between them and my own sweet little guy. It's also hard to see other babies getting passed around, tickled, and played with, while Elijah sits quietly (or not so quietly) in my lap. Granted, I am probably over-protective, and it might be intimidating to hold a special-needs child. I just wish it was easier for Elijah to be enjoyed. "Show mercy, Julie, on those who don't understand. You wouldn't have understood before, either. Just love; love them, and love your little boy."
So here we are, another few steps down the path God has laid out for us. Step, step...TRUST.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
our cozy little place
The kitchen and dining area takes up one half of the living area. We also hang our clothes to dry on a rack in this area (behind me as I took the photo).
This is the other half of the living area. The curtains and the couch covers were made for us by a lady here. The old covers were very ugly with pink flowers.
Here you can see the whole 'scope'. The outside door is at the left of the picture. And for those familiar with our family, you will also see the "primary baby-calming device" of the past year; the big white ball. (We will forever be indebted to Kristina and Panchito for the idea!) As a side note, we brought two of these to Manila, and one met an unfortunate death a few weeks ago when Todd and Elijah were sitting on it together. Todd heard the little 'hiss' of an air leak, and decided to put his finger over the hole. Bad idea. A mili-second later, the ball exploded! Todd and Elijah revived quickly after the initial shock...and then we laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
Friday, September 14, 2007
home sweet
We are spent. But so thankful that tonight we will have our own beds, even if we are dragging ourselves away from those pillows pretty often to take care of a sick boy.
Elijah's diagnosis was roseola (a childhood disease with a rash like measles, but not as severe) with a case of pneumonia as a bonus.
Will write more later... but I just wanted to let you know we were home and that we felt your prayers. Sending our love!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
heading to ER
Sunday, September 9, 2007
reverse culture shock
We eat (pretty well) three times a day, and also some type of protein daily. Her family eats mostly rice and vegetables, with fish once or twice a week. We live in a nice apartment and have running water and clean floors. Her family's house has dirt and bamboo floors. Yet, compared to many who live in squatter areas in Manila, Veronica's family has a good life.
This is the inside of their house. Veronica's mother and father are on the right, front.
Elijah seems to be saying "Dad, I guess if I have to, I will try to play with this ball. I'm not too excited about it, though."
I had a mini photo-shoot with Elijah the other day when Todd was gone. I am quite sure that I enjoyed it much more than Elijah did, but what's a mother to do? I wanted some pics of me and the little guy I am so proud of.
Please pray for Elijah for the next few days. He has been very sick today, with a high fever and vomiting. We've had him checked today by our friendly neighbor, the pediatrician, but I'm still a bit worried. Seems like anytime he gets sick, it's usually a major deal.
Our EEG results are back for him. It confirmed seizures (which we knew would happen), and they are in the temporal and occipital lobes of the brain. However, our neurologist is very happy that they seem to be controlled so well on the medication he's on. We're thankful!!!
Friday, August 31, 2007
hot wheels
Our bike has been such a blessing! It's our transportation to get to class, buy groceries, and anywhere we need to go (at least anywhere without Elijah). It allows us to bypass traffic jams, and get places in a fraction of the time it would take in a vehicle or a "trysikel". Tonight Todd took me to a friend's house for an hour, then came back and picked me up. Without the bike, that simple (but oh-so-encouraging) visit would have been really tough to arrange! I'm uncomfortable walking alone after dark here, so I'm thankful that Todd helps me get some "girl-time" in occasionally!
Monday, August 27, 2007
mga tao (people)
Elijah is all hooked up for his EEG. He, little darling rascal that he is, decided not to sleep for the entire time we were there (over three hours for a 45 minute test). Actually, he went to sleep twice for less than a minute - the first time, someone opened the door and he woke up; the second time, the lady reapplied a loose "wire" and that was it. Poor guy. We had to conclude that for whatever reason, it wasn't in God's plans for a perfect test, at least not that day. We don't have any results back from the EEG yet, but we'll let you know when we do.
Here's Elijah, "sharing a laugh" with Veronica. As you can see, Elijah is almost as big as Veronica! Elijah 'knows' all the people he sees regularly. He's doing much better on the seizure medication - it seems to be really helping him. We're seeing only a few seizures daily. This is dear Ate Minda and E. She really loves us and him, and is sort of a "mom" figure over here. She also really helps us with learning Tagalog, because she talks a lot! Veronica is a quiet girl. That's nice, since she lives with us all the time. But we like Ate's conversation when she's here (she comes 3 days a week). I like to sit at the table with her in the mornings while I'm trying to feed Elijah and just listen to her talk.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Change of plans...
We wrote below about Elijah's recent seizures and our plans to get a g-tube (feeding tube) for him later this week. Well, our pediatrician just talked with our neurologist. Apparently that's not such a good idea - the anesthesia for the surgery and seizures would be a bad combination. So, we'll keep you posted, and for now, we're very grateful we've been so blessed with good medical care in the Philippines. We KNOW that the Lord is going before us in every step we take; sometimes it's just more obvious than others. This is one of those times.
seizures
When we got home from the neurologist, we started documenting what he said were seizures, and it looks to us like Elijah is averaging 1-2 seizures per minute. That seems like a crazy amount to us.
Elijah had a major change in his diet less than two weeks ago (switching from Momma's milk to formula and semi-solids) and the neurologist believed that could have something to do with this sudden occurance (at least the visible presence) of seizures.
We have greatly struggled (hours and hours of effort) in the past week to get Elijah to eat, and it seems like this is probably leading towards getting a G-tube for him. So we are investigating pediatric surgeons here for the end of the week or beginning of next.
We're surprised and a bit overwhelmed at the unexpected changes in Elijah's life...but just like with anything else we encounter, God asks for us to trust Him. We have a LOT of peace, just knowing that Elijah belongs to his Maker, and the One who made him knows all the intricacies of his brain as well.
Thanks for praying for us to make good decisions! We send our love.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
wee beasties and typhoons
The last two pictures are a scorpion-like centipede that was, well, IN the house we stayed at. I'm glad Todd found it and not me!
Back in Manila, a few days ago, our first indication that the weather was about to change was seeing a bare-foot man high in the neighbor's tree, chopping down the upper limbs with an axe. Two days later, we woke up to the steady sound of heavy rain on our neighbor's tin roof. A typhoon was in the area (but never actually "hit" the Philippines)! We looked out the window, and our street was flooded 12" deep at some points! We actually live in a higher part of Manila - some parts of the city were flooded waist deep or more. The drainage system isn't adequate to handle the heavy rains of a typhoon, so it is very common at this time of year to have flooding. The funny thing was all the traffic that diverted down our residential street, looking for a route. I even saw a huge passenger bus cruising by.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
visitors and sweet moments
Here are some kids we saw recently who were jumping off the bridge into the smelly, trash-filled river. They would jump and set all the power lines shaking as their bodies touched them going down. We wondered if these kids are part of the "street gang". If they're not, I think we'll avoid using their babysitters for Elijah.
This is E, momentarily 'sitting' on the couch!
Our little bug is getting big! He's about 20 pounds now, and a tall guy.
Only Refuge
August 13, 2007
I’m sitting on the ball holding a sleeping Elijah. I dare not move a centimeter, or he won’t be sleeping anymore. I’m typing with one hand.
I feel that in many ways we’ve grown to accept the handicaps and special needs our Buddy has, but taking care of him has turned into one long endurance match. I can’t remember anymore what it feels like to really rest at night, or even to have one quiet hour during the day that I can just lay on the couch and chill. I hope there comes a time when all this seems a distant memory…when I can savor the peace, relax for a while. I probably wouldn’t know what to do with myself.
I am so thankful for Ate Minda who is cooking Filipino food right now for our lunch, and who just came into our room to ask me for some hangers for the laundry. What an incredible blessing to be in this place, at this time! Living here in some ways is much easier. The pressure of nitty-gritty life is a lot less with Ate and Veronica’s help. I never expected that when we came, but I would have burned out a long time ago without them!
“This God – His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? This God is my strong refuge…” 2 Samuel 22:31-33a
Those verses sound like a song to me. Maybe some day I’ll be singing it. Lord, You are my Rock. Even when I feel forsaken and abandoned, You are my strong Refuge.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
small boy and the Daddy he loves
Definitely a smile on Elijah's face -- isn't he just so cute?? You can almost hear him begging for "more, Dad"!
Before this, we really hadn't seen any grass to speak of since last summer in Wisconsin. Elijah says, "Hmm, Dad, this stuff feels kinda funny on my toes"!
The Philippines is feeling more and more like home to us. I never thought I would say that, especially at first! Manila is not a nice place to live in many respects, so lately I have been praying that God would help me to be content no matter where we live. It is almost surprising to me now when I have a thought like "I think I'm going to like this place" or something similar, but isn't that just how our God works? Surprising, mysterious, and wonderful are His ways.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
great adventures and planes in pieces
Never know what you might find on a Philippine highway! This rock made us laugh. Note the piles of rubble -- and no warning signs! This one apparently fell during a landslide and it was too big to move easily.
We went to the Banaue rice terraces in northern Luzon. Here we are in front of these ancient man-made wonders. It was beautiful - and it was the first day since arriving here that I've had goosebumps! A short rain shower and higher elevations gave us that delicious sensation!
Another picture of Banaue...
Elijah had to get in on the action, of course! Here he is supervising Dad's work. Todd enjoys a good project and this one was a welcome change of pace from language study for him. Thank you for praying for our trip. We wondered how Elijah would do in a car (we rented the mission vehicle). It wasn't easy, but Elijah handled it better than he would have a few months ago! Our trip home to Manila ended up taking us nine hours. When we calculated the mileage, we discovered that we'd travelled less than 150 miles! We couldn't believe that, but it demonstrates that some things just take longer here... A few shots of Todd at work...
Preparing to take the wings off the plane...
Many hands make light work!
The wingless bird gets loaded in the container here.Todd and our co-worker Ben Hart in the container with the airplane carefully stowed and secured.